Stage Four
by loverofwomen
Summary: Bella meets Leah on the track, and has no idea what to make of her enchanting new friend. She certainly wants more from the gorgeous girl, but will she get it? What happens once you find Happily Ever After?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.** **Please take note of the category this story is in. I wrote this in drabble format because I wanted the choppyness of paging to the next chapter. If it bothers or annoys you, I apologize. My plan is to post 5 drabbles per day until this is complete. Since it is pre-written, I can tell you it will take me 9 days until this story is marked complete.**

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><p>The grassy field is dark, the sun still sleeping when I show up. I stretch and after I begin to run, she passes me and smiles.<p>

In the sunlight, she's bright-eyed and breathless. She somehow manages to look gorgeous while making the track her bitch. I try not to stare, but the way her hair bounces, the sound of her feet falling on tightly-packed gravel... distracts me.

We're the only two there, before the students invade, and I think I'm going to look forward to my new running regime.

She smiles, and the whole path of my life is altered.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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><p>It takes me weeks to work up to saying anything to her.<p>

In the end, she talks first. I've stopped, vastly less capable of cardio than she is, and my hands are on my knees as I bend over trying desperately to regain my breath.

"You okay?"

The gravel told me she'd been walking closer, but I was surprised when her voice came my direction. I'd expected her to be leaving the field. I had no idea where she went, who she was, or why she ran so fucking hard.

I wanted to know.

"I'm fine," I say. "Thanks."

_Fuck._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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><p>Why did I say I was fine? I immediately start to berate myself. I've just killed my first chance to talk to her. I look down at my sneakers.<p>

"I'm Leah."

It scares me, the way her voice sounds when she makes that el sound, and I just know if she ever says my name, I'm done for. I don't even know if she's gay, but I'll turn her. Or die trying. Despite my epic failure with Alice.

"Did you just start running, or just start running here?"

"You can't tell?" I ask, laughing. "Just started."

"Welcome to the addiction."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

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><p>I know she means the endorphins - we learned about them in med school - but some secret part of me fears that she knows I've only maintained this for as long as I have because of her.<p>

For the first time, I make eye contact with her while neither of us is in motion, and I want to cry at her beauty. Her strong jaw, her mocha eyes that make me crave coffee, and her soft hair that makes me want to tug.

"Need a training partner for something?"

Yes. Life.

"I just ... I needed to be healthy again."


	5. Chapter 5

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><p>"You sick?" she asks, taking a probably unconscious half-step away from me.<p>

"No, no." I laugh and shake my head. "Just college was brutal. Too much drinking and smoking, not enough sleep or eating right. I can't be a very good example to my patients if I'm fat and slovenly."

She laughs, and the luxurious tone draws me in. It isn't a tinkling or girlish laugh - it's deep and rich and sinful. It makes me think that if she laughs with abandon like that, she surely must moan with abandon, too.

I bend down. Suddenly, my sneakers are fascinating.


	6. Chapter 6

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"Well, see you around ... "

I panic; she can't leave. I stand up to face her again.

"Want to grab coffee?"

A beat passes. Too long. More panic.

"I'd love to. After you tell me your name."

I bite my tongue. I'm not ready to hear her say it.

"Guess," I tease, my lips drawn in a wide smile.

"Hmmm." Her eyes narrow as she evaluates me. I've given her the perfect opportunity to gawk. Her gaze settles below my belly, surely noticing how wide my thighs look in these shorts.

"Cassandra?"

I laugh and it echoes off the building walls.


	7. Chapter 7

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"You think I look like a Cassandra?"

Her own grin takes over her face, eyes crinkling in the corners and I realize how fucking cold I am, standing still in the morning dew. I shiver when she smiles at me, goosebumps erupting on my arms and legs.

"I don't know, you look a little high maintenance to me. Gorgeous, like you'd be a Cassandra."

The way she says _Cassandra_ makes me laugh even harder. As if I'm an exotic soap opera star ready to marry the first prince that rides in on a white horse.

Except that I like princesses.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

We drink coffee, warming by the fire in the small cafe. Leah sits across from me and I soak in every small detail of her while she talks.

She has a younger brother, Seth.

A former lover, Sam.

A sick father, Harry.

A vibrant mother, Sue.

As she drinks her quad espresso and I sip my mocha, wishing it was her skin I was tasting instead, I learn. The more caffeine she has, the more animated she gets.

When she pauses to take a breath, I watch the way her body moves. She is graceful and agile. Muscled, but feminine.


	9. Chapter 9

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We part ways after exchanging phone numbers, and I arrive at my empty apartment confused.

I have no time to think, no time to breathe, no time to feel. I have to go save lives. For two days straight, I work, I cat nap, and I think of Leah.

When I collapse in my bed after my shift, I pick up my personal cell phone.

Leah texted me. With four words, she's made contact and put the ball in my court.

_Tag, you're it, Cassandra_

I realize that I never told her my real name, and delirious giggles take over.


	10. Chapter 10

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_Sorry it took me so long to reply. Work sucks. How was your day? -B_

I'm a dork for just giving her the first letter, but I like teasing her. I like imagining her lines of face as I tease her.

My thoughts shift and I wonder what it would be like to tease her naked. I think about her breasts in my hands, nipples hard beneath my thumbs. I imagine the way she tastes, her skin and pussy and mouth.

The buzz of my phone pulls me from my thoughts. Inspires me.

_My day was shit. I like Cassandra._


	11. Chapter 11

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We banter. For days, it feels like, although the first part of it I'm asleep. When I text her back to ask why her day sucked, I let her know I'm nearly comatose so she doesn't expect an immediate reply.

I dream about her skin against mine. Her fingers tangled with mine. Her pussy, wet and slick against mine.

It's dark when I wake, dark when I make myself come, and then light when I wake again.

I look at my phone and smile.

I work.

I think of Leah.

We make plans to meet for coffee. My heart leaps.


	12. Chapter 12

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Repeatedly, I remind myself she's a friend. Just a friend. A sexy friend.

I wonder if I'm going to some obscure level of hell for having lesbian fantasies about my newest friend. I text Alice to ask. She calls me immediately and gives me a hard time, but I can hear the sliver of hope for me in her voice, too. She reassures me I'm already going to hell, so no need to sweat the naked thoughts.

By the time it's coffee day, I've had almost a reasonable amount of sleep. I wear my softest jeans, a turtleneck, and make-up.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

"You look..." Leah pauses, looking not confused exactly, but uncertain. "You look amazing, Cassandra."

"Thanks. You too! You have gorgeous hair."

It's true, she does. Her cheeks tint with pink and my heart picks up speed. I can't even begin to really care she's calling me by the wrong name. I'll tell her eventually.

Her hand moves toward mine as we sit on the now familiar couch in the now familiar cafe. It's my new favorite place.

Our pinkies barely touch, our bodies turned toward each other. The tension between us crackles, comes to life around us.

I need her.


	14. Chapter 14

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"I live around the corner from here," she says when the shop begins to close. The lovely owners have left half the lights on, but the music is gone, and so is every other patron but us.

"Yeah?" I ask, tilting my head. I'm trying to gauge her. I still can't figure her out, but I want to.

She nods, then stands, almost putting her hand out to help me up.

The walk there is torturous. Full of joy and anticipation and nerves and desire.

She unlocks the door and pushes it open; I smile as we cross the threshold.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

We settle onto her couch, facing each other, wine swirling in our glasses.

I still can't tell if I'm reading too much into her stares and almost touches. Are we friends? Are we flirting?

When she moves to the kitchen to pour more wine, I quickly glance around at how she's decorated her cozy cottage home. Try as I might to find them, there are no telltale pictures to be seen.

I see her smiling with who I assume to be her parents, and brother. I find a lot of photos with barren landscape, and some with lush, green foliage.


	16. Chapter 16

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The flowers are provocative, greenery surrounding and caressing them. I'm studying a particular picture when she returns.

"Night-bloomiing Cereus," she says. "That's the flower."

"It's gorgeous."

She tells me of its history, then all about the photography trip she took along the desert of southern Arizona, into Mexico and through Texas.

"Is that what you do, for a living?"

She smiles as she speaks. "No, I'm a teacher. First grade."

I imagine her among a sea of children, loving each of them and touching their lives, and god, I want her even more.

_Please, Baby Jesus, let her be gay._


	17. Chapter 17

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More wine warms my lips, my tongue, my heart. She sits closer this time, and I can smell her soft perfume. Her shampoo. Her.

"Why aren't you married?" she asks suddenly, after a lull of quiet.

This is my moment. This is when I crack my chest wide open, pull out my heart, and show her the gory details... hoping with all the hope I have that, even if she's not gay, she won't hate me or throw me out.

I take a deep breath, even though I know it won't help to steel my nerves. Nothing will.

"I'm gay."


	18. Chapter 18

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The beats that pass scare me. I've never had anyone react violently, but I have experienced not-so-great reactions, and I desperately don't want that here.

Leah looks down at my lips for a nanosecond and my heart jumps. Slowly, she sets her wine down on the table, then takes my glass, too. When it's resting next to hers, her hands smooth around the back of my neck, cool fingers against warm skin, and her thumbs reach out and stroke.

I want to die from the anticipation.

Then she kisses me, and I think I've never really lived before this moment.


	19. Chapter 19

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Like I'm a delicate piece of fine china, she strokes my skin, marveling.

I finally remember to breathe, and think. "Are you ... "

"Do you have the worst gaydar ever?" she asks, lips vibrating in a laugh against the skin of my neck.

"Clearly."

"I told you I was in a relationship with Sam," she says, as if I should be connecting dots. I stare at her amused expression, sad we're not kissing anymore. "Samantha?" Her tone carries a slight implication that I'm the biggest idiot ever.

"Oh."

I don't give a fuck about Samantha or Sam or anyone but Leah.


	20. Chapter 20

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Naked, we sate the desires that have built for months.

I find her birth mark on her inner thigh, kissing it before I explore her with my mouth. There isn't a part of her that I leave untouched, unloved, and she returns the favor well into the morning.

I'm curled against her body, so unused to being taken care of, and her fingertips are skimming my collarbone. She's humming what sounds like a happy song, and when she checks back in to reality now and then, she presses soft, warm kisses into my pale skin.

This is just the beginning.


	21. Chapter 21

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Almost overnight, we are inseparable.

She touches me like no one else has, whispers words to me no one else has, makes me feel like no one else has.

She is my soul mate, and I am hers.

Our bodies press together, breath mingling as we make each other moan.

We fuck, we make love, we explore.

We find out things we like and things we don't, allowing each other the space to make mistakes and wander down wrong paths.

She makes me laugh, and when she says my name, it still rolls off her tongue and makes me wet.


	22. Chapter 22

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I work long hours, arduous stretches of days on end. I get through it by thinking of her. Thinking of her tongue and teeth, the way they pull at my skin, bringing every part of me back to life.

She teaches, grading by my side when we're together, watching trashy TV neither of us would admit to anyone else we watch.

When 16 and Pregnant comes on, I turn to her.

"Do you want that?"

She laughs. "I'm a little over sixteen, Bella."

I push her back, setting the papers to the side, unable to resist her tongue and those els.


	23. Chapter 23

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She wants kids, she finally tells me, in the dark silence of night. She wants them, but she worries about what kind of mother she'll be.

When her father dies after being ill for so long, I hold her hand at the funeral. I expect someone to look at us with judgment, but no one does.

Harry is so loved in his community, and by extension, his children.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Clearwater."

I hold her in my arms as she sobs, then repeat the action later with the younger version of her.

I ache to soothe Leah's infinite grief.


	24. Chapter 24

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As the months pass, Leah's grief eases, but she's never the same. I see it in the faces of families at the hospital, but I've never experienced it right in front of me. It was the first permanent loss Leah had, and she is marked forever by it.

I give up my tiny apartment and move into the warmth of her home. Together, we make memories that fill picture frames on the walls.

We travel, we explore, we love each other down to our souls.

Seth becomes my surrogate brother to me, and then a father to his daughter, Makena.


	25. Chapter 25

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He lays the sweet baby in my arms, introducing me as Aunt Bella, and the tears chase each other down my cheeks. I turn my head and kiss Leah, knowing somewhere deep inside of me that I want this with her. I want to hold her baby, our baby, and expand this extended family I'm already a part of.

That night, Leah touches me in a different way, and I can see it in her eyes, too. She wants to make me come, but she also wishes she could get me pregnant - that we could be capable of that.


	26. Chapter 26

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Seth is gracious, literally giving of himself.

The night we celebrate my thirtieth birthday, I'm drunk and needy. Leah kisses me, the softness of her mouth always luring me in, reminding me where my home is. Where my heart is. Her fingers tease me tortuously.

When the syringe enters me, it feels like an extension of her. She glides it in, her fingers teasing my clit, and I'm so on edge.

I can't feel when she empties it into me, but she makes me come and it's like fireworks.

It takes four more tries, but we get our plus sign.


	27. Chapter 27

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Leah loves my pregnant body, though I feel like a whale. Everything swells. I've never felt less sexy or more horny.

When I'm at home and Leah's behind me in the tub, she wraps her arms around me. My body rests on hers, buoyed by the water, and she touches me with certainty. Her fingers slide in and around me, and my arms reach up to pull her mouth closer.

I can't get enough, writhing against her mouth in our bed. I am shameless, unapologetic about my love and arousal for her.

I make her come more than ever, screaming.


	28. Chapter 28

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Natalia is born, and I take maternity leave, basking in the glow of the symbol of our love.

Though our time together gets to be less, Leah and I feel more solid than ever. We exchange smiles, we make love, we feed each other, physically and metaphorically.

She's entranced when I breastfeed, watching carefully. I can tell she's aroused, but confused. We talk. We work it out. We play.

My fingers remind her that her body and heart are mine. She laves at my breasts, lapping spilled milk and moaning against sensitive skin. I almost come before she's touched me.


	29. Chapter 29

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Eighteen months pass in the blink of an eye. Natalia walks, talks, and has a mind of her own. She's picked up some of Leah's traits, and some of mine. I think about the future, when Leah will be able to take her to work, kiss her goodbye at her classroom, and go teach classes.

It's perfect. They are perfect. I am blessed.

My body is saggy, but Leah loves me still. Her fingers, her mouth, her teeth, whisper promises of forever against my stretch-marked skin.

We buy matching rings and lie in a meadow, reciting vows to each other.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: No copyright infringement is intended.**

When we're ready for another, I tell Leah that I want to see her swollen and full. Lush curves and heavy breasts. Just the thought and image is almost enough to make me come.

Even though life is chaotic with my hospital hours and her teaching schedule, we make it work. It's easy, comfortable, and I want more. More of her.

We find a donor. We do everything we're supposed to - multiple times - and nothing happens.

When I insist she see a doctor, she relents.

The normal bloodwork is drawn, and inconclusive conclusions are made.

We keep trying.


	31. Chapter 31

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We run together in the morning, like when we met. We take turns pushing Natalia in the joggling stroller. We run slow enough to talk. Sometimes, we just walk and hold hands, shooting the shit.

When Leah bends over and stretches more than normal, holding her abdomen, I wonder if she's having implantation cramps. I get more excited than I know I should.

After six more months of trying and failing, I'm nervous.

Leah encourages me to carry another baby, but I want a piece of her.

My hands find their way around her body, orgasms for pleasure, not procreation.


	32. Chapter 32

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The doctors remind us that we're older now. Everything seems in working order, but an ultrasound is scheduled.

My world crashes on a grey October afternoon.

Doctor Gerandy calls me into his office. It annoys me, I'm busy, and I have no idea why the Head of Radiology is calling me during an already slammed shift full of patients that can't wait.

"Bella," he says softly, in the tone we use to talk to patients. "Have you talked to Leah?"

"Not since I left for work last night. What's wrong?"

He brings up an image, and I want to vomit.


	33. Chapter 33

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"You did a CT?" My tone is even, despite the chaos in my fractured heart.

With a few clicks, he shows me that image, as well. His voice dies out in my head, but he's still talking. His lips move, his fingers point and circle what I know is a large tumor.

My wife is dying.

I hear metastasized, radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and a few more buzzwords.

This is why she can't get pregnant.

This is what will likely take her from me forever.

I need to be with her, right this very second. I bolt from his office, running.


	34. Chapter 34

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By the time I reach my locker, the department head is there, waiting to hug me and send me home.

"I'll be gone," I remind her. "I don't know how long."

"Stay in touch."

She eases my fears, my stress, and my worry that I'll lose my job if I'm gone too long, but she understands more than most people what the diagnosis means.

I speed the entire way home, frantic and desperate for her arms around me. I feel selfish, but I need her in this moment. She is my rock.

The moment my car is parked, I run.


	35. Chapter 35

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Stage IV they tell us in the oncology office a few days later.

We can spend months fighting, doing our best and trying to kill the cancer which has spread to her liver. I want to fight. Leah is an ass kicker, and I want her to fight as hard as she can.

Despite my many protests and begging, she declines.

"Why, baby?" I ask through my tears in the privacy of our bedroom. "Why won't you fight?"

"I'm not stupid, Bella. I don't want to waste the time."

Her words gut me. I hold Natalia tight, and we plan.


	36. Chapter 36

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The first few months, she's my Leah. She laughs, we fly as far and wide as our money will take us. I'll drain my account dry for her, make as many memories as I can with her, as long as I have her by my side.

We make strangers take our picture in front of the Eiffel Tower, in a boat on a river in Italy, and when we return home, we plan a road trip.

We buy a stupid expensive SUV and drive across the country. We retrace her youthful steps, and her illness begins to show.

She fades.


	37. Chapter 37

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"Love me, please, while you still can."

Her voice is soft but scratchy. Weak. Not the Leah I fell in love with. Gone is her booming laugh and larger-than-life personality.

She is frail and we both know our time has begun to end.

I look down at her face, her body cradled in my arms. "I don't want to hurt you." My tear falls against her cheek and she flinches.

"Think of how good you'll make me feel." She winks and smiles, and for a split second, the word cancer has never entered my life.

I love her carefully. Completely.


	38. Chapter 38

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Leah is setup with in-home palliative care.

Natalia is too small to understand why Mama has tubes and sleeps a lot, but I whisper to her. I take as much video of them together as I can.

I weep quietly, alone in the bathroom. My fingers trace the edge of the tub we've soaked in together countless times. At night, I lie in our bed alone. Cold. Lonely.

I get tired of it and crawl into bed with her, my warm, sweet girl.

I kiss her forehead, her cheek, and her lips, which turn up in a smile at me.


	39. Chapter 39

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I search through my closet, prepared but unready for the day.

Our friends have been by the house to pay their respects.

Seth helped me plan the arrangements, and it feels like the entire reservation will be there, along with all of our friends. I try to remind myself that Leah would have wanted a celebration of her life.

I try repeatedly, and I fail every time.

I don't understand most of what happens, just like with Harry's funeral, but I feel the heavy grief of each person there.

This time, Sue wraps her arms around me. I sob uncontrollably.


	40. Chapter 40

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I try to pick up the pieces and put them back together. I am a shattered shard of myself, rough edges and jutting angles.

I miss her every second of every day of every week. I ache. Natalia asks me where Mama went. When Mama will be home. Can she kiss Mama goodnight?

There are no words to explain death to a child. I bite back my tears, forcing myself to be strong. To be the best mom I can be. I want Leah to be proud of us, even if she can't be here to be part of it.


	41. Chapter 41

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When I enroll Natalia in Kindergarten, I watch the videos of them together. I get angry that Leah should be here, by my side, reliving her infancy.

I feel robbed by life. Robbed of the closest lover I had. Robbed of my partner in crime. Robbed of my other half.

I get angry that being a single parent sucks. I get angry at the empty house that was ours.

I want to feel someone else's touch against my skin, and I feel sick with my betrayal.

I cannot bear the thought of taking my wedding band off.

I feel alone.


	42. Chapter 42

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On Leah's birthday, Natalia and I go to the reservation, skipping school and work.

It's the only place where I can still feel her. It's the only place that reminds me that what we had together was real, existing someplace beyond photographs and video... beyond my memories.

Natalia plays with cousins that look nothing like her, and Seth and I sit together, talking. Reflecting. Remembering. He has a wife with beautiful brown eyes like Leah's. I cry all night.

My job gives me routine, provides money, and requires my focus.

I somehow manage to exist in a world without her.

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><p><strong>This is the end of their story. Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you're still with me. I appreciate it.<strong>


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